Last day as crazy as the first one

Hello, readers! Last Chilean episode. I am now in Japan and everything is fine (well no, everything is expensive and I don't understand the people). But this is not about Japan: it's about the last stop in Chile. Remember? where I learned that public drinking is not allowed - and that bus count as a public space. 

Funny story, this bus ride. We had bought some beers within the group, in order to kill the time and have fun. So we got in the bus and made ourselves comfortable for this 28h ride. Then we noticed that there was, like Bowie used to sing, something in the air: not only we were sitting at the very rear of the bus, but the 'tank' of the toilets was full and generating an unpleasant smell. So we complained many times to the bus driver's assistant, me being the official PR of the group because of my capacity of pretending I can speak Spanish. Apparently he didn't like our mutiny attempt that much. Because when some of the group opened our beer cans, me included, he came to the rear of the bus and confiscated my can. At that point we were 4 people drinking, but somehow he only noticed me. 

A few moments later the bus stopped in the middle of the road – and then some Chilean passengers next to me told me to hand them the trash bag containing, among other things, empty beer cans, so that they could hide it. They even gave me some chewing gum. Ok... That's nice of them. Wait... Why?

At this moment, I was in an euphoric state, after one and a half beer on a more or less empty stomach (to my defence, beer cans are small here – and I only drink because of peer pressure). I could see the traitor outside, talking to the Carabineros (Gendarmes, or marines). Then the bastard called me out, which I did, finding the whole situation more funny and ridiculous than scary. The Carabineros were a bit further away, so I asked Judas what the hell was happening. He told me I had trespassed the law by drinking in public space, and that he was legally bound to report it to the Carabineros. I looked him deeply in the eyes and asked him if this was some kind of revenge because of the toilet issue – then he looked aside and said it had nothing to do with it. Ah! But I had little time to set a curse on him, as 3 or 4 carabineros were approaching. They repeated what the Collaborationist said, namely that I was trespassing the law. I successfully managed to have a clear and logical prose, apologized and promised it wouldn't happen again – then tried to change the subject by asking why is a bus considered a public space.

It's as in a computer game: there are different questions you can ask, where one will upgrade you to the next level, and the others will make you fail. Same in real life: I guess I picked the wrong question. They didn't like it and started asking for the IDs of everybody of the group – but then I set myself as a scapegoat and assured them without letting my voice fail that I was the only one drinking among the others. Since the Carabineros don't master Goebbels' language, the other alcoholics of the group and I could talk and we agreed on that – and if there was a fine to pay, we would split it in 4.

They bought the story of me being the only disgusting drunk, (which proves that the Carabineros know little of the German beer culture) but still they wanted to check my handbag to make sure. Oops... My bag. Containing 3 bottles of wine for the CSs. That surely won't make a good impression, will it? At that time I thought: I have to attack first, otherwise they will eat me alive. 

 

I presented the bag and showed the sealed wine, didn't give them give to think and ask in a very peremptory tone if it was also an criminal offence to carry wine as a present. Perhaps they were tired, perhaps they didn't really care, perhaps I was convincing: anyway, they just said that alcoholic beverages had to be stored away, so I took my most precious belongings (my earplugs), made a mental list of the content of the bag and let Judas put the bag away.

Then they dismissed us with no fine and the bus could continue, after this 20 minutes unplanned break. This could have been stressful, but it didn't feel like it. Too bad! 

But next time, I will definitely stay home. 

To close the Chile experience, again, let's check the list:

1- Stay vegetarian thing WIN

Yeeeah! Even vegan at some points, as I was sharing meals with 3 other vegan people when we were camping. Could I be vegan for real? Could I stop eating cheese? My cholesterol rate begs me to turn vegan...

2- Take the train FAIL

Well, we took the metro. Does it count?

3- Stay with CSers the whole time FAIL/WIN

Not really, but it wasn't planed that way, so back off.

4- Make it with a local WIN

We had that part already!

5- Improve my foreign language knowledge WIN

Yes, this time I didn't even care if I was speaking Portuguese or Spanish, those lazy latinos understood me anyway. But now I muddled up my Portuguese with Spanish. Thanks a lot.